S/M stands for Sadism and Masochism. Some prefer the term BDSM or Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission. Women who enjoy BDSM find that combining pleasure and pain turns them on.
S/M is not abuse. It is consensual activity between willing partners. BDSM is a way for some women to gain power by pushing their limits. Some examples of S/M are: spanking, bondage, whipping, acting out scenes and attending sex parties.
Sadism is the sexual pleasure or gratification in the infliction of pain and suffering upon another person. The word is derived from the name of the Marquis de Sade, a prolific French philosopher-writer of sadistic novels.The counterpart of sadism is masochism, the sexual pleasure or gratification of having pain or suffering inflicted upon the self, often consisting of sexual fantasies or urges for being beaten, humiliated, bound, tortured, or otherwise made to suffer, either as an enhancement to or a substitute for sexual pleasure. The name is derived from the name of the 19th century author Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, known for his novel Venus in Furs that dealt with highly masochistic themes.
Sadism and masochism, often interrelated (one person obtaining sadistic pleasure by inflicting pain or suffering on another person who thereby obtains masochistic pleasure), are collectively known as S&M or sadomasochism.
The words are now commonly used to describe personality traits in an emotional, rather than sexual sense. Although it is quite different from the original meaning, this usage is not entirely inaccurate. There is quite frequently a strong emotional aspect to the sexual desires, taking the form of a need for domination or submission—the desire to control another, or to be controlled, as opposed to a simple desire for pain (which is technically known as algolagnia).
It is often agreed that this desire for dominance or submission is in fact the driving force behind sadomasochism, with the giving and receiving of pain acting only as an active stimulation to reinforce those feelings. This view is supported by the nature of sadomasochistic behavior. A masochist does not in general take pleasure in any arbitrary form of pain, only in pain received under the pretext of enforcing authority, and typically only that of a sexual nature. Likewise, a sadist usually only takes pleasure in pain that is inflicted for reasons of punishment and control, and most often for the indirect pleasure of the masochist. Many sadomasochistic activities involve only mild pain or discomfort. Often they are focused primarily on roleplay.
The biology of S&M
This article or section does not cite its references or sources.
You can help Wikipedia by introducing appropriate citations. Pain, violence, sex and love all are associated with the release of a variety of hormones and chemicals within the human body. Furthermore, humans have been shown to exhibit sympathetic responses in their bodies while watching, hearing, or imagining such experiences.
Levels of sex hormone testosterone can be temporarily affected by one's role S&M interactions. Dominant participants often get raised testosterone levels; whereas submissive participants often get depressed testosterone levels.
Endorphins are released by pain experiences and can be perceived as pleasurable and possibly psychologically addictive. It is due to this same release of endorphins that people can become addicted to self harm. In this way, the acts of self harm and engaging in masochistic behavior can be similar in function though most would agree, not in causality.
Brain chemicals such as serotonin and melatonin can be affected by emotional or stressful experiences.
Epinephrine and norepinephrine are released during stressful or painful experiences, and can cause a pleasurable 'rush'.
The terms sadism and masochism were first used consistently to describe these behaviors by the German psychiatrist Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing in his 1886 compilation of case studies Psychopathia Sexualis, a famous study of sexual perversity. Sigmund Freud, a psychoanalyst and a contemporary of Krafft-Ebing, noted that both were often found in the same individuals, and combined the two into a single dichotomous entity known as sadomasochism (often abbreviated as S&M or S/M). This observation is commonly verified in both literature and practice; many sadists and masochists define themselves as "switchable"—capable of taking pleasure in either role.
Both Krafft-Ebing and Freud assumed that sadism in men resulted from the distortion of the aggressive component of the male sexual instinct. Masochism in men, however, was seen as a more significant aberration, contrary to the nature of male sexuality. Freud doubted that masochism in men was ever a primary tendency, and speculated that it may exist only as a transformation of sadism. Sadomasochism in women received comparatively little discussion, as it was believed that it occurred primarily in men. Both also assumed that masochism was so inherent to female sexuality that it would be difficult to distinguish as a separate inclination. Havelock Ellis, in Studies in the Psychology of Sex, argued that there is no clear distinction between the aspects of sadism and masochism, and that they may be regarded as complementary emotional states. He also made the important point that sadomasochism is concerned only with pain in regard to sexual pleasure, and not in regard to cruelty, as Freud had suggested. In other words, the sadomasochist generally desires that the pain be inflicted or received in love, not in abuse, for the pleasure of either one or both participants. This mutual pleasure may even be essential for the satisfaction of those involved.
Here Ellis touches upon the often paradoxical nature of consensual S&M. It is not only pain to initiate pleasure, but violence—or the simulation of violence—to express love. This contradictory character is perhaps most evident in the observation by some that not only are sadomasochistic activities usually done for the benefit of the masochist, but that it is often the masochist that controls them, through subtle emotional cues received by the sadist.
In his essay Coldness and Cruelty, Gilles Deleuze rejects the term 'sadomasochism' as artificial, especially in the context of the prototypical masochistic work, Sacher-Masoch's Venus In Furs. Deleuze instead argues that the tendency toward masochism is based on desire brought on from the delay of gratification. Taken to its extreme, an infinite delay, this is manifested as perpetual coldness. The masochist derives pleasure from, as Deleuze puts it, The Contract: the process by which he can control another individual and turn the individual into someone cold and callous. The Sadist, in contrast, derives pleasure from The Law: the unavoidable power that places one person below another. The sadist attempts to destroy the ego in an effort to unify the id and superego, in effect gratifying the most base desires the sadist can express while ignoring or competely suppressing the will of the ego, or of the conscience. Thus, Deleuze attempts to argue that Masochism and Sadism arise from such different impulses that the combination of the two terms is meaningless and misleading. The perceived sadistic capabilities of masochists are treated by Deleuze as reactions to masochism. Indeed, in the epilogue of Venus In Furs, the character of Severin has become bitter from his experiment in masochism, and advocates instead the domination of women.
Many theorists, particularly feminist theories, have suggested that sadomasochism is an inherent part of modern Western culture. According to their theories, sex and relationships are both consistently taught to be formulated within a framework of male dominance and female submission. Some of them further link this hypothesized framework to inequalities among gender, class, and race which remain a substantial part of society, despite the efforts of the civil rights movement and feminism. However, the degree to which any of these influences actually affect sexuality -- either consciously or unconsciously -- is unknown, and the validity of this theory of socially-conditioned female masochism is questionable.
There are a number of reasons commonly given for why a sadomasochist finds the practice of S&M enjoyable, and the answer is largely dependent on the individual. For some, taking on a role of compliance or helplessness offers a form of therapeutic escape; from the stresses of life, from responsibility, or from guilt. For others, being under the power of a strong, controlling presence may evoke the feelings of safety and protection associated with childhood. They likewise may derive satisfaction from earning the approval of that figure (see: Servitude (BDSM)). A sadist, on the other hand, may enjoy the feeling of power and authority that comes from playing the dominant role, or receive pleasure vicariously through the suffering of the masochist. It is poorly understood, though, what ultimately connects these emotional experiences to sexual gratification, or how that connection initially forms.
It is usually agreed on by psychologists that experiences during early sexual development can have a profound effect on the character of sexuality later in life. Sadomasochistic desires, however, seem to form at a variety of ages. Some individuals report having had them before puberty, while others do not discover them until well into adulthood. According to one study, the majority of male sadomasochists (53%) developed their interest before the age of 15, while the majority of females (78%) developed their interest afterwards (Breslow, Evans, and Langley 1985). Like sexual fetishes, sadomasochism can be learned through conditioning—in this context, the repeated association of sexual pleasure with an object or stimulus.
The distinction between S&M, BDSM and D/S
Sadists enjoy inflicting sexual pain. Masochists enjoy receiving sexual pain. D/S is Domination and submission. Not all masochists are submissive, and not all submissives enjoy pain. Not all sexual sadists are dominant, and not all who enjoy domination are sexual sadists. BDSM is a term which describes many activities: bondage, discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism.
Sadism and masochism in real life
The term BDSM describes the quite common activities between consenting adults that contain sadistic and masochistic elements. Many behaviors such as erotic spanking, tickling and love-bites that many people think of only as "rough" sex also contain elements of sado-masochism. Note the issue of legal consent which may or may not represent a defense to criminal liability for any more serious injuries caused.
In certain extreme cases, sadism and masochism can include fantasies, sexual urges or behaviour that cause significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning, to the point that they can be considered part of a mental disorder. However, this is an uncommon case, and psychiatrists are now moving towards regarding sadism and masochism not as disorders in and of themselves, but only as disorders when associated with other problems such as a personality disorder.
"Sadism" and "masochism," in the context of consensual sexual activities, are not strictly accurate terms, at least by the psychological definitions. "Sadism" in absolute terms refers to someone whose pleasure in causing pain does not depend on the consent of the "victim." Indeed, a lack of consent may be a requisite part of the experience for a true sadist. Similarly, the masochist in consensual BDSM is someone who enjoys the experience of pain in a particular context and, usually, according to a certain scripted and mutually agreed upon "scene." These "masochists" do not typically enjoy pain in other scenarios, such as accidental injury, medical procedures, and so on.
Similarly, the exchange of power in S&M may not be along the expected lines. While it might be assumed that the "sadist," or "top"--the person who gives the sensation or causes the humiliation--is the one with the power, the actual power may lie with the "masochist," or "bottom," who typically creates the script, or at least sets the boundaries, by which the S&M practitioners play.
Sadism and masochism in fiction
In general, the depiction of sadism and masochism in fiction tends to be portrayed from the viewpoint of masochistic fantasy.
Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's novel Venus in Furs is essentially one long masochistic fantasy, where the male principal character encourages his mistress to mistreat him. It inspired a song of the same name, and about the same subject matter, by the rock group The Velvet Underground, featuring the lyric "Kiss the boot of shiny, shiny leather."
Edward Hyde, one of the main characters Robert Louis Stevenson's in The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, is described as experiencing glee when he beats statesman Sir Danvers Carew to death.
George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four might be seen as containing sadism, in that the man O'Brien, when he is torturing Winston Smith, seems to enjoy doing so. Indeed, he exults in the destruction and despair he inflicts, seeing it as an excercise of power.
The 1971 film Straw Dogs, by director Sam Peckinpah, features a scene where the character of Amy Sumner (played by Susan George) is "raped" by her ex-boyfriend. The scene is extremely ambiguous, but it is usually interpreted that Amy begins to enjoy the encounter, of which she is the masochistic subject.
In the 1987 film Hellraiser and its sequels, Pinhead (the lead cenobite) feels that there is beauty in suffering and torture. Story of O is another classic masochistic novel, written by a woman, Pauline Réage. In this novel, the female principal character is kept in a chateau and mistreated by a group of men.
The novelist Anne Rice, best known for Interview with the Vampire, wrote the sadomasochistic trilogy The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty under the pseudonym of A. N. Roquelaure.
Bram Stoker's Dracula features three women who like Count Dracula himself maintain youth and vigour by drinking the blood of other humans. These three, who are concubines or wives of the Count, seem to glorify pain and suffering of others; they refer to their drinking of blood as a "kiss" and enjoy it with a sexual passion.
Terry Brooks' The Wishsong of Shannara features a demon called the Jachyra, which is delighted and excited by pain-- its own and that of others alike.
The 2001 movie La Pianiste (released with subtitles as The Piano Teacher) describes a relationship between a repressed piano teacher and her pupil, which ends unhappily when she reveals her extreme masochistic desires to him, which brings the relationship to an end, but not before he has made a disgusted attempt to enact his conception of her masochistic fantasies.
The metaphysical documentary What the Bleep Do We Know!? featured a bridesmaid who is shown subconsciously transmitting the message "Make me suffer please!" to the wedding-guests.
The 2001 Japanese movie Koroshiya 1 (released with subtitles as Ichi the Killer) follows 2 main characters, Kakihara and Ichi. Kakihara is an extreme sado-masochist who has a taste for pain and humiliation, while also having a taste of delivering pain and humiliation. Kakihara is looking for the extreme sadist who will grant him his wish of ultimate masochistic release even if it results in his death. (In fact he hopes it does)
A 2002 movie, Secretary, directed by Steven Shainberg, explores the relationship between a masochistic secretary and her dominant, sadistic employer.
The TV drama Queer as Folk includes elements of S&M.
The characters of Dr. Phoebus Farb in the 1960 black comedyThe Little Shop of Horrors and Orin Scrivello, DDS in the musical stage adaptation of the same title are comically sadistic figures.
Several pirates, outlaws, and slave-drivers in Brian Jacques' Redwall series are described as cowards who enjoy inflicting pain on weaker creatures-- only to be slain, often by a hero whom they had underestimated.
A character in Anne Bishop's trilogy, the Black Jewels Trilogy, is called Daemon Sadi and nicknamed "The Sadist" for his cruelty towards women (who used him as a personal prostitute).
In Paulo Coelho's novel Eleven Minutes the main character, Maria, experiments with sadomasochism and her partner has studied the topic thoroughly.
Sadomasochism in popular culture
Sadomasochism has also become a popular theme for advertisers who seek to appear "edgy" or unconventional. Anheuser-Busch, Inc., a mainstream brewer of popular beers, including Bud Lite, now sponsors the Folsom Street Fair and Diesel brand Jeans runs ads in major fashion magazines with an S&M theme.
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