找回密码
 注册

QQ登录

快捷登录

新浪微博登陆

搜索
CDD 法语助手
楼主: fifififi

电脑笑话分享

56
回复
1954
查看
[ 复制链接 ]

新浪微博达人勋

I saw two older looking ladies trying to figure out the computers at a local store. I knew one of them would say something that I could send to Computer Stupidities, so I tried to listen in.

    * Woman 1: "What is that little trash can on the screen?"
    * Woman 2: "My son says that is call the 'recycle bin'. He tells me when I don't want a Word document anymore and I delete it, it really goes in there."
    * Woman 1: "Why in the recycle thingy? Can't you just erase it?"
    * Woman 2: "Oh no, Word wouldn't work for very long if I did that, I would run out of blank pages."
    * Woman 1: "Why?"
    * Woman 2: "Because it cleans the words off the pages, then sends the blank sheets back to Word so they can be used again. That's why it's called the recycle bin."
2009-4-22 11:12:51

使用道具 举报

新浪微博达人勋

My coworker (who uses Windows 95) was having trouble downloading a self-extracting archive off the net. In an attempt to make it easier to open the file with WinZIP, he associated *.EXE with WinZIP.

Nothing worked after that. Every program he tried to run would load WinZIP first. He couldn't even run REGEDIT to delete the association.

He ultimately had to reinstall Windows 95 and all his programs.
2009-4-22 11:13:44

使用道具 举报

新浪微博达人勋

From a Windows 95 user:

    * Customer: "I think my computer doesn't know what it is doing."
    * Tech Support: (pause) "Why? What is the problem with the system?"
    * Customer: "Well, it keeps asking me, 'What is this?'"
2009-4-22 11:14:23

使用道具 举报

新浪微博达人勋

* Customer: "Something's wrong with my computer."
    * Tech Support: "Like what?"
    * Customer: "When I turn it on the screen goes all black."
    * Tech Support: "Totally black?"
    * Customer: "Yes."
    * Tech Support: "Does it say 'C:\>' in the corner?"
    * Customer: "Yes."
    * Tech Support: "Then it's not really all black, is it?"
    * Customer: "I guess not."
    * Tech Support: "Type 'win' and press the enter key."
2009-4-22 11:15:36

使用道具 举报

新浪微博达人勋

I work at an office supply store. When Windows 98 came out, we had a sale on new computer systems. There were more than a few people who were completely taken in by buzzwords and had no idea what they were talking about. The worst case was a person who spent five or ten minutes looking through Windows Explorer, apparently trying to find something. Trying to make the sale, I stayed with her, helping her when necessary. Eventually, I asked to know what she was looking for. "I'm trying to run Windows 98," she said.
2009-4-22 11:17:07

使用道具 举报

新浪微博达人勋

Read in a message board of a local BBS: "I try to avoid using Microsoft. That's why I use MS-DOS."
2009-4-22 11:18:21

使用道具 举报

新浪微博达人勋

* Tech Support: "What software are you using to backup?
    * Customer: "Ms. Dos." (spoken like it was a person, like Mr. Dos or Mrs. Dos)
    * Tech Support: "What, are you just copying the files with the xcopy or copy command?"
    * Customer: "Oh, no I use Ms. Backup for that."
2009-4-22 11:19:02

使用道具 举报

新浪微博达人勋

At least three people from our company have come to me panicked, almost crying. They all say, "I think I just erased a program!! Help!!" In reality, it turns out they just minimized the window. When I open it again, they gasp, "What did you DO?!?!?"
2009-4-22 11:20:01

使用道具 举报

新浪微博达人勋

We maintain a 24 hour, 800 number call desk for our maintenance contract customers, a very expensive undertaking. Non-contract customers can call as well, but our per-call maintenance charge is $250/hour, with a minimum of three hours. If you only call us occasionally, it's a lot cheaper than a contract, but it's clearly designed to discourage trivial calls.

In 1996 a per-call customer called. "What does MSDOS stand for?" she asked. We told her. Her firm paid the $750 bill without demur.
2009-4-22 11:21:34

使用道具 举报

新浪微博达人勋

One time a user was trying to clean up his hard drive. He saw a folder called "system" which took up lots of space but only had a few things in it. So he moved the fonts and sounds to a new location and deleted everything else.


-------------


One of our users, upon receiving his new computer, deleted most of the files in the system area. He said he didn't know what those files did, so he got rid of them. For some strange reason, the system refused to work properly afterward.


----------------

Had a user that called the other day, complaining that all her files were "garbage" and that I should take her computer back and fix them. It turned out she was looking at system files. She couldn't read the binary code and assumed, therefore, that the files were corrupted.
2009-4-22 11:23:50

使用道具 举报

新浪微博达人勋

I was asked to fix Word Perfect once, when it had apparently "just quit working." They didn't know why, but it didn't take long for me to find the problem. They had cleaned up their hard drive by erasing all binary files because "they weren't readable."
2009-4-22 11:24:33

使用道具 举报

新浪微博达人勋

One user -- a regular caller of ours -- got herself into some serious computer trouble when she set about cleaning up her system. She had been exploring the hard drive in the file manager and discovered hundreds of files in the Windows directory with all different file extensions. Being of an orderly mind, and with several hours of free time, she had created a TXT folder, a COM folder, a DLL folder, and so forth, and moved all the files into these subdirectories.
2009-4-22 11:25:51

使用道具 举报

新浪微博达人勋

* Me: "You really should exit Windows before you shut down."
    * Friend: "Why?"
    * Me: "Well, otherwise you could end up with fragmented files and hard drive errors and that sort of thing."
    * Friend: "Oh well. Who cares about hard drive errors?"
2009-4-22 11:26:18

使用道具 举报

新浪微博达人勋

* Customer: "My machine won't do anything."
    * Tech Support: "What's on the screen right now?"
    * Customer: "It's frozen, it's showing my Windows desktop."
    * Tech Support: "Try hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete, tell me what happens."
    * Customer: (taptaptap) "Nothing."
    * Tech Support: "Did you hit all of them at once?"
    * Customer: "Umm...just a second." (taptaptap) "I did that time. Nothing happened."
    * Tech Support: "Try it again."
    * Customer: (taptaptap) "No, it's just sitting there."
    * Tech Support: "Move the mouse around. What happens?"
    * Customer: "Nothing, the arrow doesn't move."
    * Tech Support: "Ok, last try, hit Ctrl-Alt-Delete again."
    * Customer: "Still nothing."
    * Tech Support: "Hit your numlock key. Does the light flash?"
    * Customer: "No."
    * Tech Support: "Ok, you're going to have to shut your computer off. Just press the power button, wait for a couple of seconds, and turn it on again."
    * Customer: "I've heard that's bad for Windows."
    * Tech Support: "Um, well, you can't do anything else, right?"
    * Customer: "No."
    * Tech Support: "Well, you can't hurt it any worse then."
    * Customer: "But I've heard it's bad for Windows to just shut it off without shutting down first."
    * Tech Support: "Yes, but it's locked up. There's nothing else you can do."
    * Customer: "Will it hurt my Windows?"
    * Tech Support: "Probably no worse than it already was by locking up."
    * Customer: "Well...ok...but if it doesn't work, will you come over and fix it for me?"
2009-4-22 11:27:00

使用道具 举报

新浪微博达人勋

There is a gradeschooler who lives in an apartment complex down the street for whom I built a 486 some time ago. It's running Windows 95, and I am forced to fix it for him constantly. One day he called me up and said that his computer is opening up all of his files. I grabbed my coat and hat and popped over to see what he had done to the poor thing. He had selected everything on his desktop and made shortcuts of them in a new folder on the desktop, in the quick-launch, and, worst of all, his startup folder. Imagine booting all the MS Office 97 applications at startup on a 486...quite painful.
2009-4-22 11:27:30

使用道具 举报

您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册 新浪微博登陆

本版积分规则

返回顶部