8) Alice Pieszecki, The L Word
All of the first date jitters that accompany an entire evening of conversation with a complete stranger will be swept away only a few moments into your Valentine's Day date with Alice Pieszecki. That is how long it will take you to realize that she could fill up three year's worth of entire evenings of conversation with the dirt she has on everyone within a 50-mile radius of the restaurant in which you are dining, and she's not afraid to lay anyone's business bare. By dessert, it will be as if you've read the entire archive of Perez Hilton, but laughed so much louder, because Alice Pieszecki can weave a yarn worth hearing.
Bonus tip: If you plan to attend a closeted queer party that requires you to sign a non-disclosure agreement, swipe Alice's phone — and the hidden camera she keeps strapped to her thigh.
Gray Baldwin may seem like the kind of girl you can just trick into taking a bubble bath with you — because obviously that's what straight friends do — but in reality she is so much more than that. From ballroom dancing to bowling to rock climbing, Gray finds all sorts of athletic endeavors restorative. The possible activities for Valentine's Day dates are endless! And because she's practiced at doing therapy and physical activity at the same time, there is literally no situation you can concoct that she cannot process while it is happening. If emotional chow-chow is your thing (and if it's not, get your Queer Card checked), Gray Baldwin is the date of your dreams.
Bonus tip: If you get bored with Gray, ask her to invite her best friend along. Molly Shannon is the balm for every ailment.
6) Alex Fisher, The Women
If you get lost, Alex will ask for directions. She only watches one TV show at a time. And the sex? Well, you'll only get a coquettish smile when she's talking about that. She's a writer, which means any outbursts of verbal adoration will be warmly welcomed, but she's just plucky enough to pretend she doesn't need it. For a Valentine's date, you can be sure Alex will wine and dine you with style — although beer is more her thing. Supermodels are also her thing, but she's kind of bored with that scene.
Bonus tip: If you mess with her friends, she will kick your ass.
Due to the fact that that: a) Dr. Callie Torres is a hero surgeon, and b) Nearly every other staff member at Seattle Grace is incompetent, there is a decent chance she will get paged away during the middle of your Valentine's Day date. Never fear; there is a special place at the hospital called the On Call Room, and if you think Dr. Torres is warm and expressive and just the right amount of arrogant on a normal day, you should experience her after she's saved a life.
Bonus tip: The sooner you can convince her to move away from Seattle Grace, the better. And if you're feeling particularly benevolent, take Dr. Yang and Dr. Bailey with you.
4) Tasha Williams, The L Word
There is literally no such thing as too much effort when it comes to planning a Valentine's Day date with Tasha Williams. Whatever you put into it will be visited back on you one hundred fold when she graces you with her laughter. Nothing can prepare you for this moment. Oh, how you'd given up hope in the sound of magic after you lay awake all those Christmas Eves ago, yearning to hear the tintinnabulation of Santa's sleigh. Yet here the magic is, in the glee of Tasha Williams. Can you bottle the sound and wear it as an amulet against the principalities of darkness in this world, you will wonder. Can the sound of such joy power the sun?
Bonus tip: Do not cheat on her — even in your mind. Captain Williams knows.
3) Lucy Diamond, D.E.B.S.
Tired of the ol' flowers/dinner/movie V-Day combo? Consider Lucy Diamond. Perhaps she will confound your home security system, scale a wall and lead you away to a date at gun point. Perhaps she'll take you off the beaten path to a rogue club. Or maybe, if you're lucky, you two could hole up in her den of iniquity. If you're looking for spontaneity, danger and an occasionally over-involved sidekick, Lucy Diamond is your girl. (Unless you're a Russian assassin. In which case: keep looking.)
Bonus tip: Have the taking-a-bra-off-another-person thing down before you move toward second base with Lucy Diamond. One wrong snap, and you'll be in a full-on elastic-cracking war.
2) Wil Pang, Saving Face
Yes, another surgeon. (Lesbians are drawn to doctorates like astronauts to stars.) Wil Pang may be a genius, but she's also the kind of woman who will appreciate that the day after Valentine's Day is when all the good candy goes on sale. It may take her a while to warm up to the idea of any sort of PDA, but she's faithful and sincere, and just the kind of person you want on your side when the lines are drawn. And when the lines are drawn, she'll slow dance you right out of the box.
Bonus tip: Don't talk to her mom about your sex life. Wil prefers to let her think you spend your time together conjugating Latin verbs.
1) Luce, Imagine Me & You
Let us assume that you have created a list of qualities you are looking for in a Valentine's Day date. Throw it away! Luce is the woman you've been looking for. She'll bring you flowers and insight into your soul. She'll choose the perfect wine with dinner. She'll take you to a football match (soccer game, Yanks), warm your hands by a fire and explain your inevitable marriage to your little sister. And when you cannot compete with her level of articulation, she won't care. "You're a wanker, number nine!" is love letter enough for Luce.
Bonus tip: If she dares you to love her, do it.
Which character(s) would you spend your Valentine's Day with? Let us know in the comments!
February 11, 2009
With Valentine's Day coming up this weekend, we've put together a list of the 11 best lesbian and bisexual women to spend the year's most romantic evening with.
And ...
夏洛的守护 发表于 2009-2-15 00:40