有人愿意帮忙指正下这篇英语作文吗?一律有赏

applesaucesa

The biggest difference between human-beings and animals is that, the human-beings are able to think while the animals are not. The animals can only reflex to the surrounding environment stimulus while the human-beings can firstly think over something in their mind before making a decision and taking the action.

There is a old saying, the calamity comes from the mouth, which refers to talking without thinking beforehand and hurt the others’ feeling. In this case, it can easily mess up your human relations. When you offended others inattentively, you may lose some good opportunities in your career.

When we speak, we must talk briefly and right to the key points, express clearly to avoid others' misunderstanding and wasting of time. This is one of the things that separate us from the animals.

It goes the same way when we try to handle the things. When we decide to do something, first, we should have a plan in our mind. Then consider all the possibilities in various aspects, ask other people for their suggestions. Taking actions after making well-round plan, we will achieve a better effect.

In a nutshell, do not let the animal reflections control our behavior; we should have a careful consideration before taking an action. Make a short pause, consider the consequence, and then we can make a better decision.

严佳琪

在applesaucesa修改的基础上：

第一段所有humans和animals前面没有必要放"the"

第二段，"An" old saying.
如果想说使人际关系变复杂，可以说it complicates interpersonal relations.
You may offend someone inattentively, if it gets worse, you may even lose good career opportunities.

第三段 express "ourselves" clearly...
"the waste" of time

第四段 It's the same when we deal with things.

最后，In short..
Make a short pause --> take a break, think twice

我总觉的全文用We有点怪怪的。。。

陀陀螺

在前两位的基础上，

The biggest difference between human beings and animals is that, human beings are able to think while animals not. An animal's reflection to its environment is natural and immediate, but human beings think first before making a decision and taking an action.

There is an old saying that the calamity comes from the mouth, which refers to talking without thinking beforehand and hurt the others' feeling. In this case, it can easily mess up human relations. If one offends others inattentively and if it gets worse, he may even lose good career opportunities.

Therefore, when we speak, we must talk briefly and right to the key points, express clearly to avoid misunderstanding and waste of time. This is one of the things that distinguishes us from animals.

It goes the same way when we try to handle things. When we decide to do something, first, we should have a plan in our mind. Then consider all the possibilities in various aspects and ask other people for their suggestions. Taking actions after making a well-round plan, we will achieve a better effect.

In a nutshell, do not let the animal reflection control our behavior; we should have a careful consideration before taking an action. Take a break and think twice, then we can make a better decision.

[ 本帖最后由 陀陀螺 于 2008-1-29 23:20 编辑 ]

tianya1102

晕。。。。。。。。。。