Twenty ways to tell you're qualified as an investment banker:
1. You work very odd hours.
2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your clients happy.
3. You are paid well but your boss gets most of the money.
4. You spend a disproportionate amount of time in a hotel room.
5. You would change employers at the drop of a hat for more money.
6. Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.
7. It's difficult to have a family.
8. You have no job satisfaction.
9. If a client beats you up, the boss just sends you to another client.
10. When people ask you, "What do you do?", you can't explain it.
11. If you don't do everything to please the client, the boss gets angry, your compensation suffers, and he might even ditch you for a better model.
12. Your clients always want to know what they get for their money, often make strict demands as an excuse to get their "money's worth".
13. Your boss drives nice cars like Mercedes or Porsche.
14. Your boss encourages drinking to ease the pain of it all.
15. When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return looking like hell.
16. You are rated on your "performance" in an excruciating ordeal.
17. Even though you get paid the big bucks, it's the client who walks way smiling.
18. Your boss keeps close tabs on what you're doing, who you're doing it with, how much time you're spending with them, and your "productivity" levels.
19. You're always telling clients what they want to hear.
20. To feel better, you keep saying to yourself, "Well, I at least I'm not a lawyer."